To the cute neighbor cat living somewhere down the street:
You are cute – this I will admit. But you HAVE to stop peeing on my zucchini mounds. Mark caught you IN THE ACT yesterday so you cannot deny you’ve been using my garden as a litterbox. I know a giant mound of dirt must be like a magnet for you but I’m counting on that hill to yield zucchinis this summer so please – STOP. In the event you do not cease and desist, we will resort to drastic measures.
We have a BB gun… and Mark knows how to use it. Consider yourself warned.